Mahalima, Aking Himala: A Story of a Fan turned Designer of SB19

As I write this blog, I'm still trying to absorb today's gig. I dressed up SB19 for their event with NCCA. This is already my third time working with them. And all of this happened because of manifesting. Let me tell you my story of how I as a fan girl turned into their fashion designer.

How I Discovered SB19

One random day while I was in Batangas in 2019, I saw a viral video of a boy group. They were so in-sync and every move was on point! Although I appreciate dance groups, I rarely stan one but for some reason, I was drawn to this five-member group. Dug deep into the engagements and found out they were SB19.

From this day onward, I tried to know them. Followed all their socials, and watched their ShowBreak episodes. Laughed out loud at the whisper challenge. There I found myself starting to stan a boy group which by that time I still didn't know what their genre was. They were really promising, and so I officially called myself an Aurum. I started posting about them on my own socials, so the people around me know how much I admire SB19. Even my boyfriend supports me! He would tell me when Go Up! is on Myx.

The Postponed DDCon

As a fan, I also dreamed of seeing them one day in person. Even just for a while, even from afar. So when SB19 announced that they will hold a concert at the Araneta Colesium, courtesy of Dunkin', I decided that I want to watch.

I successfully was able to register online for two VIP tickets. That's like how many dozens of donuts??? However on my first attempt to get the physical ticket, I ran out because I arrived at the Cubao branch around lunch time. I found myself crying LOL. All the branches in Cubao were calling each other to check on the availability because they wanted to help me get those tix, but to no avail. So I planned lining up the next day like really early.

And I did! You know how early? 2AM!!! HAHA. With no sleep, I and my boyfriend waited 'til the store opened. We were already hungry and sleepy, but I badly wanted to get those tickets with assurance. Well, mission accomplished! Two VIP tickets! Went home very happy and gave away the doughnuts to the staff of our condo in Katipunan...while my boyfriend went straight to work with no sleep at all. (Thank you Ronel 😭 ILY!)

I already had my outfit. Had my lighstick, etc. Then the pandemic happened. :( It got postponed, and I got super sad about it! Hoping it would still push through someday, I secured the tickets inside my cabinet. Months have passed, the pandemic seemed to get worse. I lost hope that the concert would still happen. So I just settled with watching them on TV, on my phone, and laptop. I continued being an A'tin. I collected their official merch, plus Justin's version of the SB19 x Chynna Mamawal Collection. I especially love the ingenuity of the song What?

On Having an SB19 Bias

So I had no idea about the term "bias", but definite I was first very attracted to Justin de Dios. I usually get attracted to tall Chinese-looking guys (which explains why my boyfriend for 6 years now is one haha). Plus, he's an artist! I am an artist, and I love artists. Months have passed while watching more episodes of ShowBreak, I got attracted to Ken Suson. He was so funny, and I love funny people (my boyfriend is funny btw). But then I realized he looks so much like my ex so I ditched the idea of choosing him LOL. Stell has a very beautiful voice, no doubt. Heck he looks like Superman! And Pablo. Of course. Pablo. Sabi ko nga sa Tiktok, "You're so gorgeous!"

But I remained with Josh Cullen Santos. Heck habang tumatagal he becomes more and more attractive! Finding out he's almost the same age as me, I was then convinced that he's now actually my bias. Not really because of his abs (I never get attracted to abs), but I saw the soft side of Josh especially during the GITZ concert, when they were interviewed one by one. I knew Josh had a precious story that molded him to become the person he is now. He seems very mature in life. So as of this moment, my bias is Josh.

One day, I posted this on my story.

I was just a fashion designer dreaming of working with my bias. Or actually with all of them!

How I Got the Opportunity to Work with SB19

2021 was a good year for my fashion design career. It was also the year that I started doing menswear. I was able to work with Tawag ng Tanghalan Season 5 Grand Champion JM Yosures, and PBB Season 10 Housemate Benedix Ramos. For some reason, I flourish more in the menswear category more than bridal. One day, I was referred to the manager of SB19. We were able to talk and presented my portfolio. This was a few days after I posted my IG story above. But then the conversation with the manager stopped. I thought it was over.

During this time, I was going through something in my life. My grandparents died of Covid. My father was hospitalized and undergone surgery. My sister's family all got hospitalized too because of Covid. And I experienced betrayal from people I love. I was so drained, deactivated my social media accounts for 3 months. No one could reach me during this time.

I reactivated December 17. And 3 days after, the manager messaged me.

"Yna, pwede ka ba pumunta sa The Zone bukas? Sukatan mo na yung boys".

While on the call, I remained calm and professional. But as soon as I dropped the call, I screamed. I was shaking. I thought this was not gonna happen anymore. And imagine, if the manager tried to reach me during the time I was away from social media, the opportunity could have been given to someone else. But it was still given to me. 💕 It was definitely for me. Called my two design associates who happen to be fans of SB19 as well.

Seeing SB19 In-Person for the First Time

So I was there, sitting outside the office together with my associates. A car arrived. I saw from the was them. I prepared my heart. I was calm, pretending I didn't care. Pablo went down the car. And then Justin. And then Stell. This was happening all in slow-mo. And it seemed like angels were flying around them as they entered the office. The manager already told me to enter. And then Ken arrived. Josh wasn't still around. I started taking their measurements, while my associates wrote down the numbers on my measurement sheets. My friend said I was shaking. And then Josh came. The shaking became more intense, so my friend held my hand. I was calm, but I knew I was screaming inside.

The boys were so kind. They were welcoming, and they remained their authentic selves despite having guests around. The manager was also very nice. We talked about what projects I will work on.

I left The Zone with a very happy heart. 💗 But I can't absorb it yet....

The Wish Bus Performance

So SB19 had a guesting for Wish and I decided to go primarily to see my A'tin friends. I didn't bother going near them because I want to give chance to other people to see them in the flesh. So my friends and I positioned ourselves in an area away from the crowd, and not really having the best view.

I can't see them at all. But I can't hear them. Then suddenly, they sang "What?". Everything around me went black. Everything flashed back, from my first days as a fan, to seeing them in person. I broke down and cried and finally realized and absorbed the fact that FINALLY, I am working with the five men whom I dear so much. 😭 And said "Anong ginawa ko para i-deserve ko 'to." My friends embraced me and cried too. They were very happy for me. 💗

The First Projects

The first set of clothes that I did for them was the black and white suit and pants set. But it was put on hold as there was a more urgent project: School Buddies.

Then next was the Ppop Con Press Con,

And then after several months, I was called back for NCCA

What It Feels Like Meeting Josh

Usually when I become friends with someone I'm attracted to, the "feelings" go away? They either become a really good friend or a tropa. As of now, I see Josh as someone I want to be friends with (or friends na nga ba? not sure don't wanna assume). He's the one I converse with more frequently when I am with them. Hehe. Hence, we I have more pictures with him than with the other members. But they're all nice to me.

I have still so much to tell! But I'm keeping the rest to myself to protect their privacy. I have a lot of funny moments with them. Sama ko na 'tong mysterious picture namin ni Justin na never ko binuo kasi alam kong tatanggalin nyo ako haha

Attending their Events

Despite having a connection with SB19, even if I can see them in person, I still buy tickets to their events because it's a whole different experience seeing them perform. It's like magic. Nagwawala parin ako haha!

Lesson Learned

I believe nothing is impossible.

And I think the psychology of manifestation is real.

And also part of it is I worked hard for my craft in fashion designing. If I didn't, I wouldn't had the chance to work with them.

But of course, I owe this all to the Lord. ❤️️

So SB19, if by any chance this reaches you five, I just want to let you know that I am really really thankful for the trust. And by the way, because you called me back this October, I hope you know that YOU SAVED ME. The night before you called, I was already giving up in life. I thought I lost all hope, especially with my career. Thank you for believing in an unknown fashion designer. I hope I don't make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Just let me know if I'm doing or saying something you don't like. I promise to do my best in my next projects with you.

Thank you for being nice to me. Thank you for being a dream come true. 💠

I will FOREVER be thankful 💗 And I will always be here!

So this song is for you!

To more hits, awards! To world domination. 🥂


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